How to Anger Celestial Mages For Dummies
by MickyTheSupernaturalMouse
Summary: The number one mistake anyone could make is angering a Celestial Mage. When they promise something, they will follow through with the promise until the bitter end. A series of one-shots of those of whom angered a Celestial Mage a paid the consequences... ON HIATUS UNTIL ANIME RETURNS
1. Lucy Heartfilia vs Flare Corona

_Prologue_

Celestial Mages were in their own right, fairly powerful. Their only weakness was the fact that if their keys were stolen, they had no way of getting them back unless they could use Caster Magic, not just Holder Magic. Because Celestial Mages are born, not made, it was nearly impossible to make a switch from their Holder Magic to a Caster Magic, unless it had similar properties, like Heavenly Body Magic, which was the Caster Version of Celestial Spirit Magic.

And whenever a Celestial Mage got angry, they usually had powerful spirits that could back them up, or have adorable spirits like a Nikora that could melt the hearts of many in one single, fatal, and brutal swoop. All spirits had their advantages in battle and their disadvantages – such as Aquarius only being able to be summoned through a water source.

The best Celestial Mages were the ones that could master the Zodiac Keys. Having at least one Zodiac key meant you were powerful enough to cast the ultimate Celestial Spirit Magic spell – Urano Metria. Urano Metria couldn't repelled – unless you yourself were had Magic Nullification Magic and were _very_ powerful. The more Zodiac keys you were contracted with, the more power would be behind the spell – even more so if you had strong bonds between each of the keys.

For Yukino, it was hard learning the spell to keep from over-fatiguing herself to the point where if she failed she wouldn't be able to go on. Urano Metria ate up a good portion of her magic supply and if she was already running low on magic, she'd pass out from Magical Exhaustion.

For Lucy, it was a bit easier, seeing as how she had ten Celestial Zodiac keys. Each one could become deadly when they wanted to be – which for Aquarius was all the time. Urano Metria became only more powerful when her second origin was unlocked which happened gradually for Celestial Mages due to their enormous magical strength and power – summoning wasn't as easy as it looked.

But either way, angering a Celestial Mage would simply be the best way to commit suicide as they _never_ go back on promises – whether it's a threat or not…

 _Chapter 1: Lucy Heartfilia vs. Flare Corona_

"This year's first battle will be testing the abilities of Fairy Tail Team A's Zodiac Wielder Lucy Heartfilia against the Crimson Intensity, Raven Tail's Flare Corona." Chapati Lola, the announcer for that year's Grand Magic Games.

"Too bad for you, Blondie." Flare said, head tilted giving her a sadistic and insane look. Her eyes were full of excitement, looking forward to the upcoming battle.

"You can do it Lucy! Knock Miss. Creepy Eyes into the middle of next week!" Natsu yelled from his spot in the stands. _Oh don't worry Natsu. She's going down! Raven Tail hurt Wendy and that's_ not _something I can forgive and forget about!_

"If you win this," Erza said, "It'll keep us in the running!"

Lucy had a fierce look in her eyes, not planning on losing to the crazy girl on the other side of the arena. _Everyone is counting on me. I cannot and will not lose! My willpower alone is enough to beat this chick._

"Knock her lights out!" Elfman screamed over the crowd of cheering fans – most likely rooting for Raven Tail as Fairy Tail 'didn't stand a chance'.

 _I'm going to have to think smart about this. I have no clue what her magic is like so I'll start off by testing the waters and adjusting my attack accordingly. I can do this! I have to!_

In the stands, Fairy Tail watched with anticipation, waiting for the match to start. Lily was looking at Lucy, noticing her facial expression – he had seen it quite often on Erza Knightwalker whenever she was sent out to take care of Fairy Tail and their blatant refusal to disband their guild to conserve their magic supply. "That's a killer look she has there." he noted.

"She looks like someone lit a fire under her butt." Happy said plainly.

"She knows she's going up against one of Ivan's rats." Makarov said. "I WANT CARNAGE OUT THERE LUCY, YA HEAR?" Makarov shouted, waving his fists around in an intricate pattern.

Though it could barely be heard over the sound of sheer screams of pleasure and the whoops of delight that came from the crowd, Lucy heard it loud and clear, her eyes burning with a desire to decimate Flare in this fight – putting Fairy Tail tied for first place. She promised herself, she would win – and Celestial Mages never break a promise.

"Competitors! Step forward! This entire arena will be your battlefield! So since this is one on one, we've moved your teammates completely off the field." Mato, the mascot of the Grand Magic Games said. "You have a thirty minute time limit."

"Good." Flare said, tilting her head, just adding to her deranged appearance. "Plenty of time."

"I'm not losing to you." Lucy said fiercely, hand on hip and another hand ready to draw a key at moment's notice.

"If you can knock out your appointment or get them to forfeit within the time limit, you win!" Mato said. "I want a good, clean fight. Now, let's rumble!" A person smacked a gong, signally the start of the time limit.

"Here we go. Open, Gate of the Ram, Aries!" Lucy called out. Since she wanted to know this girl's abilities before become serious, she needed to exploit her magic and find out its weaknesses. Aries was always a good choice for that. While to most she didn't seem all that powerful, Lucy knew that Aries was one of the most powerful – she was a Zodiac after all.

"Wool Wall!" Aries shouted, launching a large wall of wool, protecting her from any attacks and also allowed her to see what exactly Flare's magic was.

"You think a little wool's going to stop me Blondie?" Flare taunted, letting her hair down. It flew around, into the form of a wolf. "Hair Shower: Wolf Fang!" _Hair Magic? I haven't seen that since the Tower of Heaven with evil rocker dude who cannot play a guitar…_

She immediately knew who to summon next, "Open, Gate of the Crab, Cancer! Open, Gate of the Maiden, Virgo!" Immediately, the crowd went wild as the two Celestial Spirits appeared.

Chapati went crazy, all but screaming into his microphone. "UNBELIEVABLE! Lucy Heartfilia has done the seemingly impossible and had opened three gates simultaneously!"

Yajima, another announcer spoke into his microphone, "Opening three Celestial Gates at once takes up so much magic power, nobody has managed to do it in hundreds of years. In fact, the last recorded person to hold such a power was also a Heartfilia – Anna Heartfilia of the Heartfilia Clan of Celestial Mages. But that was nearly 400 years ago."

"Guess it must run in her family's blood. The Heartfilia Clan of Celestial Mages was pretty powerful back in it's day." Chapati replied.

Down in the arena, Lucy quietly told her spirits the plan of action. "Cancer – chop off her hair, she uses Hair Magic. Virgo, burrow underground and make the earth under her weak to the point of where standing too long will make it collapse in on itself. Make it deep enough to knock her out but not seriously harm or kill her. Aries, continue using Wool Wall until Cancer and Virgo take care of her. Alright?" The spirits nodded. Lucy drew Fleuve d'étoiles, and whacked away a powerful hair attack.

Fairy Tail cheered, proud of their Celestial Mage. "Show 'em how it's done Lucy!" Natsu yelled. Gray, Erza, and Elfman just screamed encouragement, which was drowned out by the rambunctious crowd, not expecting such a term of events. Cancer sliced and diced Flare's hair, and Flare fought back. This hair was given to her by the Eternal Flame of the Sun Villiage – it was her most honored and sacred gifts.

Eventually, Cancer gained the upper hand and Flare was overwhelmed, unable to break through Wool Wall with her attacks nor was she able to get past the formidable opponent known as Lucy's Whip. Her hair was no match for Lucy's Zodiacs' powerful magic and resolve for winning this fight. This was for Wendy, and they were all, with the exception of Loke, honorary Fairy Tail members. This meant they would fight to protect their nakama no matter the cost.

Her hair absolutely ruined, the ground started to collapse underneath her, causing her to fall and immediately lost consciousness, spent on her both her magical and physical energy.

"And Lucy Heartfilia is the winner of this match, winning Fairy Tail Team A 10 points! They are now tied with Sabertooth for first place!" Chapati said. Aries returned to the Celestial Spirit World, tired due to the strain of keeping her wool firmly in place while under siege by Flare's violent crimson hair. The pink wool wall quickly deteriorated, as its creator had left the world.

Lucy went down into the hole created by Virgo, who had also left for the Spirit World, leaving only Cancer. She came back out with an injured Flare. "Cancer, can you fix her hair? It's her source of magical power, and if she goes without it much longer in her condition who knows what could happen."

Cancer nodded and quickly went to work, doing his extra special spell Hair Growth: Scalp Care. The choppy remains of Flare's hair quickly regrew into the normal long red tresses she had started the battle with.

"It seems as Lucy Heartfilia has chosen to help Flare out in a friendly way, sharing no ill will to her." Chapati said.

"What excellent sportsmanship!" Jenny cried from her seat as the Guest Announcer. "It's nice to know that even though they were enemies for the battle, Lucy doesn't want her opponent to suffer."

The medics came and took the unconscious Flare to the Raven Tail Infirmary. One of the medics told Lucy, "Thanks to your quick thinking and actions, she won't suffer from Magic Deficiency Disorder." Lucy nodded before walking over to the Fairy Tail side of the arena, several people were screaming, "LUCY! LUCY! LUCY!" It made her have the faintest blush.

Immediately, she was showered in hugs from her teammates and guild mates. "I knew you could do it." Erza said, smashing Lucy's head into her armor.

"Since when have you been able to summon three Celestial Spirits?" Bisca, Alzack, Max, Laki, and other members of the guild that stuck around for the seven years asked.

"I thought you could at most summon two Celestial Spirits!" Levy said, "At least that's what it said in this book: Celestial Spirit Magic: The Lost Magic of the Stars."

"You'd be surprised at what I can do whenever I put my mind to it and utterly pissed at my opponent for whatever reason." Lucy said. "Now, I'm going to go take a nap. Summoning three spirits really takes it out me you know?"

As she walked off, several members started doing a hand gesture in the shape of a cross. Others clawed at their hearts with three fingers before pushing them outwards – an ancient gesture for warding off evil. "Remind me to never piss her off."

Levy nodded at the statement made by Gajeel. "According to this book, the strain of summoning three spirits is so immense that you can die from even attempting it."

And that was the moment most Fairy Tail wizards and everyone who heard the conversation to make silent vows to _never ever piss Lucy off_. Even Erza, Laxus, and Makarov made this vow, though they didn't know that others had done so as well.

* * *

 **Welcome to my new series of one-shots that shows just what happens when you piss off a Celestial Mage! Good? Bad? Tell me in a review!**

 **For all of those who are interested, I'm planning on including stories from Yukino, Sorano, and Hisui as they are all the prominent Celestial Mages (though Sorano's will all be during her time as a mage of the Oracion Seis…) I plan on doing Kagura vs Yukino next and after that, Minerva vs Lucy. Then I'll go from there!**


	2. Yukino Agria vs Kagura Mikazuchi

**_I don't own Fairy Tail. If I did, Yukino, Hisui, and Lucy would be best friends._**

 _Chapter 2: Kagura Mikazuchi vs Yukino Agria_

As soon as she heard her name get called, Yukino made a silent promise to herself – that she'd give it her best shot. If she lost, it meant she wasn't worthy of the title of Mage of Sabertooth. She sighed, it had been her life-long dream to join Sabertooth and today would be the deciding factor. Would she sink? Or would she float?

Luckily, she was feeling inspired from Lucy Heartfilia's battle yesterday. Flare didn't have a chance against the raw power of the Zodiac – it's what made Zodiac Key Weilders so powerful and dangerous opponents. But even she knew that Kagura was _way_ out of her league. She'd be lucky if she was knocked out right away.

As she walked out onto the field, nervousness wracked her body and her pale hands wear clammy and soaked with sweat. She wiped them on her skirt, trying to let her nervousness subside. But the battle would start before that would happen.

"It is your bad luck to be standing before a member of Sabertooth." Yukino said, almost arrogantly. She brought the key of Pisces, letting it glow as the gate was ready to open with just a few words.

"Huh?" Kagura said, looking at the key "A golden key. One of those 12 Zodiac Gate things?"

Yukino gritted her teeth. Celestial Spirits weren't _things_. They were people too. If she fought arrogantly like a Sabertooth member would, she would lose. In a way, she had to act like a Fairy. Sabertooth would gang up on her thinking that way, but that was all she needed.

"Open, Gate of the Twin Fish." Yukino said, "Pisces!"

Pisces came out of their gate in battle mode – their fishy forms that were very similar to an eels, not a fish. Why it was the Gate of the Twin Fish and _not_ Gate of the Eels, Yukino never could understand. They were black and white, almost as if they were Ying and Yang, an ancient concept of the Minstrelian people who lived to the east of the people of Fiore.

Kagura dodged as they attacked, her eyes closed. Yukino was shocked, Kagura was more powerful than she had anticipated.

"What a waste. If you're so good at dodging, then all I need to is ground you." Yukino said, bringing out Libra's key. "Open, Gate of the Heavenly Scales, Libra!"

"Two gates? Well like Miss. Heartfilia from yesterday, Miss. Agria is a powerful Celestial Wizard – maintaining two gates is no easy task!" Chapati said, which made the crowd scream and shout. Yukino resisted the urge to yell that she needed to focus and their screaming was making her _lose_ focus, something she couldn't afford to do, as summoning two really took it out of her.

As Libra appeared, the crowd went wild as they saw her revealing clothing and womanly figure. Hearts could be seen in about half of the men present. "Another stunningly beautiful Zodiac spirit!" Chapati yelled out of the screams of _Libra! I love you!_ and other words of a pervert.

Yajima said, "She's a sight for sore eyes."

Jason, that day's guest announcer yelled out, "Gate of the Scales…COOL!" Yukino resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had been a loyal subscriber to Sorcerer Weekly since she was 7 – that was 11 years of loyalty and devotion, that was currently about to fly through the window. Though, it's only one reporter… _If I ever meet another reporter and they act like this, they lose my subscription!_

"Libra, alter her gravity."

"As you wish." Libra replied, moving her hands up and down, making Kagura fall to the ground. She was being pushed down by a multitude of pressure – the result of a Gravity Change.

"Pisces!" Yukino commanded, the twin fish already knowing what she was thinking, went to attack. However, Kagura had escaped at the last moment, by jumping.

"Libra, make her gravity make her go sideways."

"As you wish." Libra said, making Kagura fly into a statue.

"Ouch, she was only able to escape the Celestial Spirit's gravity altering for a short time!" Chapati yelled out, "Kagura is pinned to the statue! What a pinch!"

Jason was going crazy in the stands, to the point of standing to the table and screaming out "Gravity is COOL!"

 _They lose my subscription_. Yukino decided. "Pisces!"

Pisces fell to the ground. Yukino's eyes widened in horror. _I haven't run out of magic already, which means… no! She can't have Gravity magic! There's no way!_

Libra fell to the ground, saying "I can't move." She was crouching and looked like she was in pain due to the pressure of gravity.

"I see." Yukino murmered. Her plans of winning with Pisces and Libra crashed down. Kagura hit both spirits with her sheathed sword, knocking both of them down. "Pisces, Libra, go back." Yukino said as Kagura hit the ground.

"You're going to make me open, the 13th gate?" Yukino questioned her opponent.

Kagura looked shocked, her eyes opened widely. Yukino brought the key of the Snake Charmer, Ophiuchus.

"Opening the 13th Gate… That means you're out of luck." Yukino said. Whenever she used this key, her opponent always fell before her. It was her ultimate key. The gate key glowed purple as it waited for her to say the summoning words.

"Luck, huh?" Kagura questioned. "I haven't relied on that since I was born. Everything has happened due to the choices I've made!" She said, putting her hand on the handle of her sword Archenemy.

"Open, Gate of the Snake Charmer," Yukino started, undeterred by the advancing Kagura.

"That's what's leading me to the future!" Kagura yelled, hand still on the sealed handle of her sword.

"Ophiuchus!" Yukino yelled. The Great Black Snake appeared, the arena turning dark with purple clouds that Ophiuchus reveled in.

As Ophiuchus went to attack, Kagura said, "Blade of Resentment, Archenemy. Style of the Unsheathed Sword." She dodged Ophiuchus' attack, hitting it in the process, making it return to the Celestial Spirit World. Yukino's eyes widened in horror. _Ophiuchus was defeated?_

"I don't believe it." Yukino muttered, as Kagura closed in. She hit her, making her fall down.

"Sometimes, Mermaids eat Tigers."

She was laying on the floor and about to be defeated if she didn't act, she'd lose and that meant that she would have to leave the guild in disgrace. She couldn't let that happen. She got up of the ground steadily, and she could hear Chapati yell "But Yukino is not out of it yet. She's bringing herself to her feet! After such a horrible beating, will she be able to fight, or will Kagura win?"

Kagura wasn't going to win. She staggered forward slightly, her hand clenched into a fist. Winning wasn't an option for her. Kagura had backed up to allow Yukino to get up properly.

"So you still have energy? Very well. Let us continue this match."

Yukino knew she wouldn't be able to summon a spirit and sustain it. All of her magic was severely depleated. She may be able to cast a lower powered version of Urano Metria, but she doubted. She swung her clenched fist, knocking Kagura in the jaw, Kagura hadn't had time to properly register the attack, not even considering this approach. Yukino swung her foot in a wide arc, colliding with Kagura's feet. Yukino's punch had left Kagura slightly disoriented allowing Yukino time to properly sweep Kagura off her feet.

Kagura stumbled slightly. "Hand to hand combat? Could be interesting." Kagura said, setting down her sheathed sword.

"She's setting down Archenemy?" Risley asked from her spot on the Mermaid Heel side of the arena.

"Guess so." Millianna said.

The battle continued on for a few minutes before Kagura and Yukino both released a punch powerful enough to send both of them skidding backwards. _Now's my chance. I can cast it._ Yukino thought. _I have to_. She spread her arms out, letting her magical energy flow. She started chanting:

 _Survey the Heavens, Open the Heavens…_

 _All the stars, far and wide…_

 _Show me thy appearance…_

 _With such shine._

 _Oh Tetrabiblos…_

 _I am the ruler of the stars…_

 _My aspect is perfection…_

 _Open thy mavenolent gate._

 _Oh 88 Stars of the Heaven…_

 _Shine!_

 _URANO METRIA!_

Lucy and Hibiki's eyes went wide, thinking _She knows Urano Metria?_

Kagura, in the midst of the battle saw the world of the stars, murmuring 'Beautiful', just before being hit.

Both of them hit the floor at the same time, calling a draw.

"With both fighters out of the match, Mermaid Heel and Sabertooth both receive 5 points! With that, let's look at today's scores!"

 _Later that night…_

"Yukino Agria. Because you at least got us some points, you will not be excommunicated. However, it was not a win and that's not acceptable." Master Jiemma of the Sabertooth guild said. "As such, you will be replaced by Minerva, who will be arriving later today."

Yukino bowed, accepting her fate. She was glad that she wasn't thrown out, and in a way, that was a win just in itself. Winning was everything to Sabertooth – losing wasn't an option. But she was kind of sad that she wouldn't get to participate in the games. It seemed to be a lot of fun, even though she only participated once.

At least she would be replaced by someone who could win the games for sure. After her battle, she wasn't so sure she would get Sabertooth far in the games. Minerva was better suited for that – Minerva had the experience that Yukino didn't.

Walking back to her hotel room, she changed into her pajamas and quickly fell asleep, tired after her fight only hours before.

 **Well, that was nice. Thank for all your reviews, your favorites and follows. I probably won't be updating everyday, but I have a general thought process of what exactly would happen in the first three chapters. I might get Minerva vs Lucy out tomorrow or Monday, since I haven't exactly begun.**


	3. Lucy Heartfilia vs Minerva

**I've kept you guys waiting long enough – Chapter 3 – Lucy Heartfilia vs Minerva**

"Hmph." Minerva said as she lobbed another ball of her magic at Lucy. "You're a part of Fairy Tail? The so called 'Strongest Guild' from seven years ago? And this is why Fairy Tail is weak."

This made all the Fairy Tail mages start to yell curses, threatening glaces, and punching their fists into their hands meancingly at the Sabertooth guild, who cheered Minerva on, despite the threats, curses, and glares directed at them.

Lucy muttered something unaduble to anybody but the six Dragon Slayers in the stadium. Minerva stopped her barrage. "What was that Fairy? A surrender or something?"

Lucy raised her voice. "Fairy Tail _isn't_ weak."

Minerva laughed. "Of course it is. After all, they accept weaklings like you into their guild." Most of the Sabertooth guild laughed, but Yukino, Rogue, and a few others scowled at the other memebers of Sabertooth with distaste at their behavior.

"I promised myself before this battle that I _would_ defeat you." Lucy said. "And Celestial Mages _never_ break their promises."

"Uh huh. And what are you going to do without your keys?" Minerva taunted. "You cannot do anything without your keys."

Lucy narrowed her eyes. She yelled out, "Open, Gate of the Ram, Aires! Open, Gate of the Virgin, Virgo! Open, Gate of the Water Bearer, Aquarius!"

All three of them appeared, even though Lucy didn't have their keys. "THIS IS UNBELIVABLE!" cried Chapati Lola. "IF WE THOUGHT WE HAD SEEN IT ALL WHEN LUCY SUMMONED THREE SPIRITS ON THE FIRST DAY, WE WERE DEAD WRONG! LUCY HEARTFILIA HAS JUST SUMMONED THREE SPIRITS WITHOUT HER KEYS! FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE _EVER_ COME ACROSS A CELESTIAL SPIRIT MAGE BEFORE, YOU KNOW THAT THEY NEED THEIR KEYS IN ORDER TO SUMMON!"

The Mages of Fairy Tail all gasped at the display of power that Lucy possessed, before grinning like maniacs. They all started screaming "Go, Lucy!" and pumping their fists in the air like they were at a rock concert.

"Aires, make a wall of wool around Minerva! Aquarius, keep Minerva unbalanced. Virgo, I want you to help Aquarius. Use your chains." All three of them complied, for once, Aquarius did not complain.

Aires made the wall of wool around Minerva, leaving a small spot where Lucy could get her from behind, but made everywhere else as hard as obsideon. Aquarius made Minerva spin by moving the water around her. Virgo managed to keep ahold of her feet but Minerva was moving her arms around too fast for Virgo to be able to capture them with her chains.

Very quietly, Lucy moved through the weak spot in the wool, which made Aires seal it up, making it rock-hard like the rest of the shell. In the stands, everyone watched with glee over what would happen next.

Lucy tackled the Territory mage from behind, which gave Virgo the chance to capture Minerva's hands with her chains. Lucy flipped the mage around, and started punching her in the face, before hitting her with such force that she flew out of the bubble of water and onto the ground below.

Lucy dismissed the spirits and then slid out of the bubble of water, walked over to Minerva's unconcious form, and grabbed her keys out of Minerva's hands.

"And that, Minerva, is why you never steal a Celestial Mage's keys." She said, walking off the field to be tackled by the members of Fairy Tail.

 **Sorry that it's shorter than the others. But I'm kind of tired and I've been working on my other stories. So... I've been pretty busy.**

 **Hope you enjoyed!**

 **Additionally, I need some ideas on who Angel should be mad at and who Hisui should be mad at. I probably won't get around to updating until around the end of June, maybe around July. I'm working on some chapters for stories that need to be updated soon.**


	4. Big Sisters Are OVER Protective

_Chapter 4 of "How to Anger Celestial Mages For Dummies"_

 _This idea came from DigiXbot! This chapter is dedicated to you for that!_

 _For all of you who have submitted ideas: Thank you so much! I hope I get to writing those ideas up! Thank you for all the reviews: YOU PEOPLE ARE AWESOME!_

 _For all of you who are too lazy to read DigiXbot's review: Here's a pretty humorous idea on who Angel should face. Remember that episode when Sabertooth had to find Frosch, and Rogue accidentally groped Yukino. I would like to see a chapter where Angel goes all Protective-Sister mode on him (and Sting for good measure). It won't be as serious as the first three chapters, but it would be cool._

 _Episode 202 is my all-time favorite episode, which is why this was picked first! It contains some text from the episode, but not too much!_

 _DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fairy Tail. I wish I did, but I don't._

* * *

"Hey Frosch!" Rogue yelled. "Where are you?!"

"I'm sorry I lost ya!" Lector yelled.

Sting looked around, "Ugh. There's too many people here for me to pick up the scent."

Yukino gasped as she spotted Frosch, looking at a map.

"Hey guys, look, over there!"

"Alright!" Sting said, grinning happily. "Good eye!"

Rogue looks at Frosch reading the map with a slightly confused face before making a sudden realization.

"Finally!" Yukino said. Sting started running towards Frosch, but Rogue put out his hand!

"WAIT!" He cried. "Hold on...hold...on..."

Unfortunately...Rogue kind of moved his hand just as Yukino started running after Sting. And since Rogue was _kind_ of slouching...well...he kind groped Yukino.

And bad luck for Rogue, seeing as Angel/Sorano (whatever you wanted to call her) happened to be in town. She got paroled due to her good behavior the past few weeks.

In fact, Sorano happened to be just across the street, looking directly at her younger sister and her two friends - Sting and Rogue.

Her eye started twitching violent. HOW DARE THAT...That... _man_ touch _HER_ SISTER _like_ that! IN PUBLIC, no less. She started storming toward the group.

Sting had apparently gotten _very_ mad at Rogue - that was apparent by the fact that Sting kicked him down. Yukino was blushing crimson, holding her arms over her cleavage in a protective gesture.

Rogue apparently apologized to Yukino, who said something like "It's okay."

BUT IT WAS _NOT_ OKAY!

She didn't care if she did get put back into prison for this. NOBODY TOUCHED HER BABY SISTER LIKE THAT AND GOT AWAY WITH IT!

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY BABY SISTER!" She roared at him, punching him in the face.

"...Sorano?" Yukino asked confused. "I thought you were in prison..."

"Long story - I got paroled. Anyways, I better not see either one of you touching my baby sister like that again, otherwise you _won't_ like the consequences." Sorano said. "In fact, I'm coming up with ways to kill the both of you this very moment."

"It was an accident!" Yukino said.

"Accident or not, they MUST PAY!" Sorano said fiercely, whipping out one of her Celestial keys. It was only a silver key but after she was released from prison on parole, she was given her keys back. Though her golden keys were given to Lucy Heartfilia. She had created new contracts with her keys and had gotten some new ones. "Open, Gate of Chisel, Caelum!"

Sting and Rogue screamed in terror.

They had broken the number one rule pertaining to Celestial Mages.

 _Never_ anger a Celestial Mage.


	5. Hisui E Fiore vs Future Rogue

How to Anger Celestial Mages Chapter 5 – Hisui

 **Authoress' Note: Since Hisui has never summoned a Celestial Spirit on screen, but has been confirmed to be a Celestial Mage, it's kind of hard to set Celestial Spirits to them.**

 **So using a Constellation guide I found online, I'm having Hisui have six keys:**

 **Gate of the Canis Major – Sirius. (Harry Potter fan here!)**

 **Gate of the Flying Horse – Pegasus**

 **Gate of the Hunter – Orion**

 **Gate of the Great Bear – Ursa Major**

 **Gate of the Chained Lady – Andromeda**

 **And Gate of the Wolf – Lupus**

 **By the way – I haven't seen the episode where Future Lucy dies (when this takes place) in a while, so sorry if any of my info's wrong…**

 **And Future Lucy is already dead. Deal with it.**

Hisui was currently PISSED. She couldn't believe that she _actually_ believed that man who had told her all that stuff about her kingdom – how it was going to be destroyed by ten thousand dragons, and how the Eclipse was the only thing that could stop it.

Turns out, that man was _actually_ just trying to make that stuff happen. And that's why she was pissed.

How dare he wreck _her_ kingdom? How dare he deceive _her_? She knew that it was particularly vain to think that way, and Hisui was almost never vain (though she sometimes acted that way in public), but at the moment, to hell with that.

Hisui currently was growling at the black and white haired ponytailed man that was the source of all her problems. She didn't care if she was deceived. She was going to throw him to Mars if she had too!

"Open, Gate of the Canis Major! Sirius!" She yelled. A great big black dog appeared. It had razor sharp claws and teeth. It was growling very loudly. "Sirius – attack that man!" She yelled. She didn't care what the man's name was – Rouge or whatever.

She liked the past Rogue _much_ better.

"A dog?" The-Man-With-The-Ponytail asked, laughing. "You think a _dog_ can hurt me? You think a dog can kill me?"

Hisui smirked. "Who said anything about killing?"

Off to the side, Lucy was calmly watching this unfold. Future Rogue was about to learn a _very_ important lesson.

Don't fuck with a Celestial Mage – it'll be you who ends up with your balls chopped off.

At least, that's the _vulgar_ way of saying it (and how Lucy was saying it in her mind).

"We've got to help her." Natsu cried.

"No, she'll be fine." Lucy said. "Number 1 rule of a Celestial Mage: Always keep your promises."

"I'm going to beat the crap out of you," Hisui said, whipping out another key. "And then I'm going to throw you into a pit of fire, throw you into the ocean, fish you out, and then I'm going to strip you down naked, let the people throw whatever the hell they want at you, and then, if you survive until then, that is, I'm going to tear your spleen out! Or rather, Sirius here is going to." She then moved the key down in a slashing motion. "Open, Gate of the Wolf, Lupus!"

A giant wolf with a sandy brown coat appeared, growling. His claws and teeth were just as sharp as Sirius' were.

"Lupus, Sirius – get him!" Hisui snarled. The two Celestial Spirits raced forward so fast, not even Future Rogue and Natsu's enhanced eyesight could follow. As quick as lightning, they had him pinned down by the arms, biting into them that made Future Rogue cry out with pain.

"What do you think now?" Hisui asked, stepping toward them, a pair of handcuffs (specially designed to restrict the use of magic (not even a Dragon-Slayer could break out of them) in her hands. Once she reached him, she slapped one of them around a wrist that Sirius was holding. Sirius immediately released his hold on him.

Hisui yanked Future Rogue's arm over to his other wrist which was still being held down by Lupus. She pulled hard enough that made him cry out in pain again. Hisui had to admit – she was getting pleasure out of the entire experience.

 _This is fun!_ She thought. _No – don't think that way, Hisui! You've got a kingdom to run once Dad kicks the bucket. Hopefully that won't happen anytime soon – I'm_ way _too young to do anything without a bunch of help! Crown Princess or not, I'm only seventeen! …Soon to be eighteen…_

The cuffs fully powered up, restricting him from doing anything else.

"Alright Sirius, Lupus. I'll call you when it's time to rip out his spleen." Hisui said. "Oh – uh, I rather not have you guys see me beat the crap out him. It'll be brutal. For him at least. Can you mention I need a burning hot pit of oil? It's the best for bonfires."

Lucy nodded cheerfully, dragging Natsu with her. Natsu was just staring at her in shock.

 _What the hell just happened_? He thought. _One things for certain – I'm_ never _pissing Lucy, or Hisui, or Yukino for that matter, off again!_ He thought for a second. _Should I tell Happy? Nah – he'll figure it out. He's a smart one._

 **Ah… I loved writing this chapter.**

 **And I've already decided what Chapter 6 will be! Hopefully I can get it out soon, but who knows?**

 **Ninth grade starts on August 29** **th** **, so I won't be really updating until September!**

 **For those of you who read Harry Potter, than you should know that Sirius and Lupus are based after Sirius Black's animagus form, and Remus Lupin's werewolf form.**

 **Oh by the way (for all you people who haven't completed the third book of HP) [SPOILER] Sirius is innocent, Harry's godfather, and James Potter's best friend! The real culprit was Pettigrew, and Lupin was** _ **actually**_ **a prankster when he was young!**


	6. Sorry, did you just insult my gender?

**How to Anger Celestial Mages for Dummies**

 **Chapter 6 – Oh I'm Sorry. Did you just insult my gender?**

 **Ashviqua Kadar:** Nice HP reference. I had an idea... well two. You know how Arcadios has so much faith in his princess. Can you have a flashback pre GMGs to show how he finally believed that she could be a good ruler despite her gender and magic. Probably some newbie guard hitting on her.

Hey Ashviqua. You are the lucky person who has a chapter dedicated to them. I'll probably do your other idea a bit later. This is the one that I've been looking forward to writing.

-Micky The Supernatural Mouse

School sucks. That's my two-worded reason as to why I haven't updated in two months. Well… I have updated in the past two months, just not on this story.

Sorry about that!

-Micky The Supernatural Mouse

* * *

 _PRESENTING: How to Anger Celestial Mages for Dummies_

 _Chapter 6 – Oh I'm Sorry. Did you just insult my gender?_

* * *

Alexandre Knochenmus was known for being sexist, an idiot, sexist, and an idiot.

His own mother swore that she had dropped him on his head as a baby one too many times and now Alexandre didn't have any common sense.

Hardly her fault though.

Mr. Knochenmus had been known for having no common sense since birth either. Must be hereditary.

Mr. Knochenmus had been killed during a border scuffle with Bosco. It had to do with the slave trade. Alexandre had wanted to follow in his father's footsteps as a soldier of Fiore. However, Alexandre hadn't exactly been planning on being placed on guard duty at the palace.

He found that it wasn't too bad either. Pretty girls came to the palace and left just as easily. _Must have some hard-core partying going on_. He thought.

One girl, however, he didn't recognize.

There was Sasha, the fierce brunette that was having an affair with the king's cousin-in-law, Felix. There was Tiana, that beautiful and bodilicious babe who always had her hair tumbling off her shoulders in such a way that Alexandre almost couldn't stop from abandoning his post every time he saw her.

Georgia, that secretary who always refused to date him no matter how many times he asked.

Leanna, the King's advisor, who was always wearing the most spiffing things that Alexandre could imagine.

But this green haired, green eyed chick wearing a cream colored dress? Who the hell was she?

"Hey, I need to see some ID." Alexandre stopped her.

"I live here. I'm the Princess." the "Princess" claimed.

"Oh yeah? You – the Princess? I thought that Princess' are supposed to be beautiful, poised, and collected. You don't fit into any of those catergories." Alexandre replied. This woman? A princess? AS IF!

"Don't make me call the guards on you." the "Princess" warned.

Alexandre rolled his eyes. "You've got the spoiled brat part down."

The green haired, green eyes chick rolled her eyes and brought out two keys. "Listen, I didn't want to do this. I'm giving you one last chance. Either you let me through that gate, or your will have a _very_ painful life ahead of you."

"Threating a palace guard? Oh – you are just racking _up_ these treason offences!" Alexandre replied, laughing.

The "Princess" rolled her eyes and swung both keys down. "Open, Gate of the Hunter, Orion! Open, Gate of the Chained Lady, Andromeda!"

Orion was a rather handsome man that was roughly nineteen or so. He was tall – much too tall to be a human, but still tall enough to pass as an overly tall human. On his back was a quiver, and in his hands, a bow with an arrow already knocked. He had dark hair that was roughly shoulder length. The only thing that was extremely noticeable about him was his golden eyes.

Thousands of years ago, Orion had been a friend of Artemis, the goddess of the Hunt and archery. When he died at the hands of Artemis' twin brother, Apollo, Artemis placed him in the stars as a constellation. That made Orion one of the Celestial Spirits.

He wasn't a Golden Key or anything, but there was only one key of Orion. And she had him.

Andromeda was a blond woman with cold, calculating dark eyes that were heavy-lidded. Around her wrists and ankles, she had chains. Andromeda was almost like Virgo, however, she didn't use the same magic. The only thing they really had in common was the chains.

"Lady Hisui," Andromeda greeted. "Who are we dismembering today?"

Hisui grinned and pointed at Alexandre. "Give him a good scare. Remind him that it doesn't do to anger a Celestial Mage. One that is a princess at that."

Alexandre swore that he didn't scream, but that would, of course, be a lie.

He had messed up. _Big time_.

When all was said and done, Alexandre murmured an apology.

"Oh, what was that? Did you just insult my gender, again?" Hisui grinned wickedly. She had already dismissed Andromeda and Orion. "Open, Gate of the Canis Major, Sirius! Open, Gate of the Wolf, Lupus!"

Off to the side, Arcadios looked contemplative.

His princess might like blood a _bit_ too much, but at least she seemed like a fair and decent ruler...

As long as you didn't insult her gender, or make her pull out that 'Celestial Mage' card.

Her spirits were _scary_.

* * *

Anybody who can figure out the reference with Orion gets a shoutout in Chapter 7. As for the hair… imagine Sebastian Stan. Hint: I am mixing up two opposing Greek myths. One says that Orion is the son of Poseidon. Another states that he is one of the Giants, a child of Gaea, born to oppose Artemis and Apollo. Now, does anybody know what book has children of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades having black hair, but still have Orion as a Giant?

Also: On my profile there is a link to a document that provides you with all my anticipated chapter updates. I usually update it once or twice a day as I write, that way you can follow along.

By the way… I had no f*cking clue that this story had **FIFTY-ONE FAVORITES AND SEVENTY-TWO FOLLOWERS**.

You wanna know how many people have viewed this story? Almost four thousand and seven hundred.

That makes this story the most popular in terms of favorites and followers.

With reviews, that place goes to What If?


	7. Jellal Messes Up

**True to my word: DigiXBot, sabrina-luna-potter, katiekat2001, , duskrider, and LunaDiamond (guest) – this chapter is dedicated to you because all of you knew that Orion was based off of Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus.**

 **I find it amusing that all six reviews on the last chapter all had the word Percy Jackson in it. I was not expecting that.**

 **Anyways, I'm back with Chapter 7.**

 **Chapter 7: Jellal Messes Up**

It was a universal rule that one does not touch Erza Scarlet's cake.

The consequences were dire if you did so.

But, little was it known that if you touched Erza Scarlet's cake while in the room with recently pissed off Celestial Mages, the consequences were _much, much, MUCH_ worse.

It had started when Erza asked Jellal to get her more cake. Jellal had gotten the cake easily, but had been knocked into once Natsu and Gray had started to fight.

The cake went flying.  
It would have been bad if it landed on the floor. But no. It was worse because it landed on Erza.

Now that was terrifying enough. But was worse was the fact that Angel, Yukino, Hisui, and Lucy all walked in from the kitchen, favorite food in hand, only to have it spill all over them because Jellal was running away in terror.

All four of them whipped out their respective keys while Erza whipped out two katanas.

"You. Are. Dead." They all muttered.

And Jellal screamed.

"Open, Gate of the Archer, Sagitarrius!" Lucy cried. "Open, Gate of the Lion, Loke! Open, Gate of the Maiden, Virgo!"

All three appeared. "Sagitarrius! Pelt him with arrow! Loke, do whatever you need to! Virgo, make him as unbalanced as possible!" All three celestial spirits grinned before doing what was asked of them.

"Open, Gate of the Fox, Vulpecula! Open, Gate of the Crane, Grus!" Yukino said. They were her two newest spirits. Vulpecula was a reddish brown fox with about three tails. Grus was a crane with black and white wings, a white belly, and a long black neck. Grus had a long, yellow beak and a cream colored straw hat.

"Vulpecula, Grus, you know what to do!" Yukino told them, grinning.

"Ita!" Vulpecula cried in Latin.

"Of course, señorita!" Grus said, smiling at her, then rushing forward.

"Open, Gate of the Hero, Perseus! Open, Gate of the Eagle, Aquila!" Angel said. "Destroy him!" She pointed at the now very beat up Jellal Fernandes.

"Gladly." Perseus said, his messy black hair becoming even messier with the wind blowing on it and his bright electric blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Oh, of course Mistress!" Aquila replied. "FREEDOM!" She squacked, rushing towards Jellal.

"Open, Gate of the Great Bear, Ursa Major!" A giant bear appeared. It's fur was a rich brown and unlike most bears, this one was standing on their knees. "Ursa! You know what to do. Make him pay!"

Ursa just looked at Hisui before rushing forward.

"Open, Gate of the Flying Horse, Pegasus!" A flying horse with a coat of all different colors of Pegasi all over the world appeared.

"Let me guess," Pegasus neighed, "He spill food on you."

"Yes." Hisui said simply. "Will you help me?"

Pegasus looked at the badly beaten Jellal. "Any more damage, and I think he would die. But a low powered Urano Metria wouldn't hurt him too much." Pegasus disappeared.

Hisui looked at the others. "Urano Metria?"

They nodded. "Urano Metria."

 _Survey the Heavens, Open the Heavens..._

 _All the stars, far and wide..._

 _Show me thy appearance..._

 _With such shine._

 _Oh Tetrabiblos..._

 _I am the ruler of the stars..._

 _Aspect become complete..._

 _Open thy malevolent gate._

 _Oh 88 Stars of the heaven..._

 _Shine!_

 _Urano Metria!_

Poot Jellal went into a coma.

He was fine, but was badly cut, bruised, had several sprained and broken bones, among other injuries. He learned that you should _never_ collectively piss off four Celestial Mages and Erza Scarlet.

 **Poor Jellal…**

 **And I just hurt a character I love…**

 **Eh – it needed to happen. One does not just spill food on a Celestial Spirit Mage (and Erza) without saying sorry before running away in terror.**

 **I wonder if having all of them do Urano Metria at once was over kill… Nah!**

 **If you want a representation of the new Spirits:**

 **Vulpecula: Vulpix from Pokémon**

 **Grus: Crane from Kung Fu Panda**

 **Perseus: Percy Jackson (FANART –** **NOT** **Official Art) but with blue eyes**

 **Aquila: An American Bald Eagle**

 **Pegasus: Pegasus from Percy Jackson**

 **Ursa Major: Merida's Mother, in Bear Form from** ** _Brave_** **.**


	8. I'm Not Weak Zeref!

**We're deviating from the traditional Lucy/Hisui/Sorano/Yukino path and going to…**

 **Anna Heartfilia and Zeref.**

 **I ship two people with Zeref: Anna and Mavis**

 **Mavis is a guest star in this chapter!**

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Are you sure you can do this?" Zeref asked worriedly. He had met Anna Heartfilia nearly two years before, back before all this Ankhseram nonsense happened.

Natsu had died when Zeref was fifteen and Natsu was a mere five. Three years after, Zeref had attended (and been expelled from) the Mildian Magic Academy. When Ankhseram had curse him, two years ago, trapping him at the age of seventeen forever, Anna was the only one who wasn't afraid to be near him.

Zeref had to admit; he had a _slight_ crush on the now nineteen year old woman, and a graduate of the MMA a year before.

"I'm sure. I'm the first celestial mage to be able to summon three spirits at once without dying. The Heartfilia clan in known for their expertise with Celestial Magic. This portal can only be opened by me, using all twelve keys at once and all twelve keys are in my possession." Anna replied. "You aren't doubting I can do it…are you?" She asked, looking at him with a steady gaze that said, _Don't you anger me now…_

"N-no." Zeref said, cursing the stutter of his words. He had always been rather awful at lying.

" _ZEREF_!" Anna yelled annoyed. "Open, Gate of the Lion, Leo! Open, Gate of Maiden, Virgo! Open, Gate of the Water Bearer, Aquarius!"

It didn't matter that there wasn't any water nearby. At least none in a puddle or something. There was water in the air, allowing Aquarius to appear no matter what.

Zeref screamed and ran off.

He should have learned his lesson during his time at MMA. Never piss off a Celestial Mage – it really isn't good for your health.

And when you are immortal due to pissing off a god, it's really not a smart idea to piss one off because you simply cannot die from the pain or wounds inflicted.

It was torture.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Mavis Vermillion giggled as she watched the expressions of Lucy, Hisui, Yukino, and Sorano's faces as they grinned evilly and smirked at each other knowingly.

"And that's the story of how Zeref was beaten up by Lucy's great-something grandmother."

Hisui was the first to pop the question. "Who did Anna Heartfilia end up with?"

Mavis shrugged. "There's no documented husband and Anna was scorned by her parents for being best friends – and certainly her attraction to – Zeref. As far as anyone knows Zeref could have been the father of her child."

"You said that you dated Zeref." Yukino said, waggling her eyebrows. "Did you do the thing?"

Mavis blushed which was all they needed.

Mavis tried not to think of her and Zeref's son, Larcade.

Mavis didn't mind if Lucy was descended from Zeref. Four hundred years of generations, roughly 23 generations, meant that she and Natsu would be distantly related enough to where there wouldn't be any incest between them.

Because incest is wrong and you really shouldn't condone it by writing about it.

 **If anyone is a Star Wars' fan, look up "Sibling Revelry" by** **frodogenic** **. They are a genius and they make Darth Vader faint because… well you'll see.**


	9. We're Keeping Fairy Tail, Got That?

**This chapter is kind of 'meh'. However, it starts up an alternative universe where Lucy refuses to let Fairy Tail disband.**

 **Oh, and to all those who love PJO fan art -** **I was looking on the PJO Wikia, and they've redone some of the original art. Remember how bad Nico looked? He looks gorgeous now. Will finally has some good art. Here's a full list of everyone with new art:**

 **Thalia Grace, Percy Jackson, Rachel Dare, Nico di Angelo, Jason Grace, Frank Zhang, Hazel Levesque, Annabeth Chase, Tyson, Calypso, Piper McLean, Leo Valdez, Reyna Ramirez-Arellano, Coach Hedge, Clarisse La Rue, Grover Underwood, Juniper, Luke Castallen**

 **Enjoy!**

"Fairy Tail will be disbanding," Makarov addressed the guild and people of Magnolia.

"Like hell it will!" Lucy yelled. "Disbanding the guild? That's letting Tartaros win! They tried to destroy us and they _failed_. But if we disband Fairy Tail, they would have succeeded!"

Makarov, who knew what Celestial Mages could do, and specifically, what Lucy could do, felt his eyes widen.

"How about this? If Lucy can even scratch Master, than the guild stays." offered Erza. "But if Master pummels Lucy, then the guild will disband."

"Those odds are in Lucy's favor," Romeo claimed.

"I accept." Lucy said, grinning.

Makarov sighed, " _Fine_."

The turnout for the showdown between Lucy and Makarov would be Legendary. It was even more so than the turnout for the Grand Magic Games… and that had over a million people come to it.

Somehow, even _Natsu_ and _Gildarts_ heard about it, and guess what? They showed up. Almost all of Sabertooth showed up since Sting claimed that he wanted to see "Natsu-nii's girlfriend beat up Makarov!"

Rogue, though he didn't admit it, was privately thinking about why he was there. To see Gajeel-nii's girlfriend's best friend beat up Makarov.

"There's no way Lucy is losing this." Levy claimed.

"Duh! Celestial Mages are scary!"

Yukino and Sorano, after a tearful reunion, started to cheer Lucy on.

"Beat his ass!"

"You can do it, Lucy-nee!" Yukino screamed.

It didn't even matter that technically, Sting was older than Natsu, and Yukino was older than Lucy. Chronologically, they were older.

It seemed that everyone showed up for the spectacle of the decade. Mavis, Macao, Gildarts, Erza, Mira, Jellal, Laxus, Cana, Elfman, Freed, Gray, Juvia, Levy, Natsu, Happy, Bickslow, Evergreen, Droy, Jet, Gajeel, Wendy, Carla, Lily, Alzack, Bisca, Mest, Laki, Lisanna, Max, Nab, Reedus, Romeo, Vijeeter, Warren, Wakaba, Kinana, Loke, Porlyusica, Bob, Goldmine, Yajima, Warrod, Sting, Rogue, Olga, Minerva, Rufus, Yukino, Lector, Frosch, Ooba, Jura, Lyon, Sherry, Chelia, Yuka, Toby, Ichiya, Hibiki, Eve, Ren, Nichiya, Jenny, Bacchus, Rocker, Warcry, Jagar, Nobarly, Semmes, Kagura, Beth, Arana, Risley, Milliana, Wally, Sho… quite the turnout.

The fight however, was rather pitiful.

"Star Dress! Aquarius Form!" Lucy called, the bathing suit like dress over taking her clothes, her hair going up and Aquarius' Zodiac tattoo spreading across her shoulders.

"WOW! WHEN DID LUCY GET AN UPGRADE?" Natsu yelled out, eyes wide. "Wait… I've seen that dress before…"

"Yeah… she looks like Scary Fish Lady." Happy said while eating a fish.

It took one move and Makarov was waving a white piece of fabric tied to a stick.

"I surrender! You can keep the guild! Just don't kill me!"

"That's all I needed to hear." Lucy said smiling.


	10. Naval Battle

Juvia had just been knocked out of the competition, inciting the five minute bell to begin its countdown.

"Now remember, should either of you leave the sphere, you will be given last place with zero points!" Chapati Lola warned.

Minerva smirked as she looked at the weak fairy in front of her, but didn't say anything.

Lucy reached for her keys but was shocked to find that they weren't there. _When did she…_

"No! She's taken her keys!" shouted Natsu, angry at the Sabertooth Mage.

"When did she do that?" Gray asked shocked. "She hasn't even _moved_."

"Wow." Lucy muttered, though everyone could hear her. "You would think that since you've taken away my keys, you've taken away my magic? Right?" She laughed. "Since you're not a Celestial Mage, I wouldn't expect you to notice, but those aren't my keys."

Minerva looked at the keys. They were gold and silver, and there was a total of fifteen keys on the loop. She didn't understand. How were they _not_ her keys?

"I can't believe I'm having to reveal this!" Lucy said in a wistful voice. "You see, ever since I dropped my keys during the whole Phantom Lord vs Fairy Tail fiasco, Aquarius made me swear to never drop them again. And if you aren't holding onto them, how can you lose them?"

Everyone leaned forward in anticipation, eager to learn what Lucy's secret was.

"Wait a minute…" Wendy muttered.

Lucy's hand glowed for a second before revealing a golden key with Aquarius' Zodiac seal on it. "I learned Requip Magic from Erza. Every time I reach into my pouch, I'm actually just requipping the key or keys I need. So take my keys if you want. They are fake!"

"And you're going to summon your mermaid again? I thought she's on a date with her boyfriend." Minerva replied, tossing away the fake keys.

"No." Lucy said simply, "I don't need to."

She then proceeded to say, "Star Dress: Aquarius Form!"

Lucy glowed like Erza when she was requipping. When the glow died down, Lucy was wearing a green and yellow bathing suit and her hair was half up and half down in pigtails. The most key feature of the outfit change was the fact that she now had the symbol of Aquarius emblazoned across her shoulders.

"What is this?" Minerva laughed. "An _outfit_ change?"

Lucy just smirked.

Minerva launched a sphere of heat which _should_ have exploded as it neared Lucy. However, Lucy summoned an urn – which Natsu and Happy quickly recognized as Aquarius' weapon of choice – and manipulated the water, sending the sphere back at Minerva, who quickly teleported it away.

"Alright…" Lucy said. "Seems like you have a type of spatial magic…"

"I'm not telling you anything." hissed Minerva.

"You don't have to." Lucy said, her hand glowing, the urn being replaced by a key. "Open, Gate of the Twins, GEMINI!"

Gemini appeared, quickly turning into Lucy. "We're trying _that_ again?"

"Since there's no Raven Tail to nullify the effects, yes." Lucy replied.

Minerva narrowed her eyes. "Oh? And what are you attempting now?"

"For me, it's only been a few minutes since that battle so it'll take a minute for me to be able to cast it at full power. You need to stall her." Gemini replied.

"Alright." Lucy said, taking out another key. "Star Dress: Cancer Form!"

Lucy's outfit changed into that of a battle kimono and her hair was pulled up into two thin ponytails. In her hands were twin swords. In a great burst of speed, she raced for Minerva, who hadn't been expecting the speed of the Celestial Mage.

"W-wha?" Minerva stuttered. She went to form another spell but Lucy was too quick and slashed at her, causing a cut to form and blood to start to slowly ooze out of it. Minerva had managed to dodge, but was shocked at the fact that the _Fairy_ had managed to hit her.

"Done?" Lucy asked Gemini.

"Done!" Gemini replied.

"Minerva, you've a Better-Than-Thou attitude this whole time and your guild has constantly been beating down Fairy Tail for the past _seven years_. Fairy Tail is my family, which makes it unforgivable. You might not have caused damage to any of us physically, but you have emotionally. In my eyes, Sabertooth is _weak_ because they focus too much on power and being the best. Sabertooth is a _disgrace_!" Lucy said before clasping her hand into Gemini's.

Survey the Heavens, Open the Heavens...

All the stars, far and wide...

Show me thy appearance...

With such shine.

Oh Tetrabiblos...

I am the ruler of the stars...

Aspect become complete...

Open thy malevolent gate.

Oh 88 Stars of the heaven...

Shine!

Urano Metria!

Minerva screamed as she was knocked unconscious and thrown from the sphere, exiting a mere second before the five minute timer hit zero.

"WOW! Lucy Heartfilia has managed to win Fairy Tail Team A ten points while Sabertooth has been left with zero! What an _upset_ for Sabertooth!" Chapati Lola cried.

"What a beautiful battle of power!"

Jiemma just growled in anger. _That_ stupid _daughter of mine… No – she's no daughter of mine_ now…


	11. Acnologia VS Anna Heartfilia

**Please Note: If you haven't read up until Chapter 528 this will be** ** _extremely_** **confusing. If you haven't then all you need to know is that a mysterious woman (judging by the long hair) appeared on Blue Pegasus' Christina bomber. There are a lot of theories, but the most common are that she is either a) Mermaid Heel's guild master who we haven't seen before, b) Anna Heartfilia, who has been living in the Celestial World for the past four hundred years, c) Layla Heartfilia, who didn't die and has been living in the Celestial World for the past fourteen years.**

 **Personally, I think that it's both A and B. So this is probably going to be proven wrong soon enough but we shall see, won't we?**

 **Chapter 11: Acnologia... VS Anna Heartfilia**

"No way…" Jellal muttered, staring at the woman in front of him.

Erza blinked in surprise. "What… how is this possible?"

"You smell like Lucy but you aren't Lucy!" Wendy exclaimed.

"You're right." the woman said smiling. "It's been a long time Wendy. Last I saw you, you were just a little girl! And I suppose that these are your friends? Let me think… Jellal Fernandes and his Titania, Erza Scarlet! But judging by recent revelations, it _could_ be Erza Belserion…"

"Who are you?" Erza questioned. "And why do you look exactly like Lucy?"

"Heartfilia genes are strong." the woman said shrugging. "Four hundred years from now, there will probably be another Heartfilia that looks exactly like Lucy. That's if she and Natsu finally decide to 'hook up'. Anyways," the woman sighed. "I guess I can't really hide it anymore. In recent years, most just know me as Mermaid Heel's guild master, who they like to call 'the Empress of the Stars' but the name I was born with… well… I'm Anna Heartfilia."

"Heartfilia?" Jellal said, eyes widening. "You are _the_ Anna Heartfilia? The only known person to ever wield all twelve Zodiac keys at once, maintaining their gates for almost twelve hours?"

"Well, yes." Anna said. "Layla would have done the same, had she been in possession of Aquarius' key. Anyways, I can explain all of this later. I need to go and beat up a former friend of mine. Ichiya knows the plan – he'll explain it." And with that, she hit a button and jumped out of the bomber, landing in front of Acnologia.

"Hey Acno," she muttered. "Long time no see,"

"Anna," Acnologia said, changing back into human form. "So your still alive?"

"You would have killed me with your breath attack had the Celestial King not stepped in." Anna said, smirking. "I was taken to the Celestial World. They nursed my wounds and then, roughly around the time that Layla opened the gate, I came back. I knew that I wouldn't be able to face my descendants. After all, we have the same face. So I decided to form my own guild, which would later become known as Mermaid Heel in honor of my dear friend, Aquarius."

"So what?" Acnologia replied. "You don't have any of your golden keys. They are in the possession of two wenches."

"Wenches? I watched both Lucy and Yukino during the Grand Magic Games." Anna replied. "Lucy might have been defeated twice, but she's far from weak. And Yukino was up against Kagura. However, both of them persevered. I'm glad that both of them are Celestial Wizards, and even more so am I glad that they possess the Zodiac. They are worthy."

"Worthy? Bah – let's just get to the fight. You know, the one where I beat you into the dirt?" Acnologia smirked, breathing in.

"Chaos Dragon's Roar!"

Anna dodged it.

"Chaos?" she questioned. "You are too dramatic for your own good."

"I AM NOT DRAMATIC!" Acnologia said, stomping his foot onto the ground.

"Aww… my dear Acno… have you been lonely without me at your side? Or are you jealous of Zeref? You know, he's two years younger than me and he's only fifteen. I'm roughly twenty-nine right now so I'm not interested in dating baby teenagers."

"You've aged and he hasn't." Acnologia said, rolling his eyes. "Last I checked, you were nineteen."

"But I spent a celestial year in the Celestial world and then about… oh, nine years on Earthland? Chronologically, I'm four hundred and twenty nine." She smirked.

"That's nice." Acnologia sneered. "But this fight is quickly getting dull.

"Oh? Is it because I haven't hit you with some awe-inspiring power that will make you fall to your knees and make you beg for mercy?" Anna questioned. "If you want, I can show you."

"Oh, yes, show me!" Acnologia yelled. "Show me how far you've come in a short time. I've had centuries to practice!"

"He's no golden key, but he'll do." Anna said. "Open, Gate of the Dragon, Draco!"

A small, orange-red dragon with a yellow underbelly and purple horns appeared. "Yes, my queen?" He asked, twirling his yellow mustache.

"Mind giving him a piece of my mind?" Anna asked the small dragon.

The dragon turned to Anna and said, "Of course!"

Acnologia stared at Anna. "You call this a dragon? He's a _lizard_."

"Hey! Dragon, DRAGON, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing." the dragon said. "I'm Mushu, the Dragon of Showbiz."

Acnologia laughed. He fell to the floor, clutching his sides as the laughter escaped his mouth. "Wow, Anna. This is a really funny joke. Truly it is. But you'll need more than a baby lizard to beat me."

Mushu turned to Anna who smirked and nodded.

"Take this! Showbiz Dragon's Roar!"

Flame shot out of his mouth.

"Hmph? You call that fire?" Acnologia questioned, quickly eating it.

"Showbiz Dragon's Scratch!" Mushu said, revealing his sharp claws and scratching Acnologia in the face.

"OW!" Acnologia said, clutching his face in agony.

"I'll get you for that!" Mushu screamed. "SHOWBIZ DRAGON'S ASSKICKERY: BITE!"

And then Mushu bit Acnologia in the behind which made him howl in pain and jump away, swatting at the tiny dragon before landing in…. a pit of boiling tar.

Anna dragged him out of the pit and threw him onto a dozen or so pillows that had been ripped open, revealing their feathers.

"Come on Acno. Let's go to a water park! I hear that Ryuzetsu Land recently reopened their doors with a strict 'No Fairy Tail policy'," Anna said, dragging Acnologia… to a wagon.

"No…!" Acnolgoia moaned. "My one weakness… _moving vehicles_!"

Zeref paused in his attack, looking off into the distance. "For some reason, I feel like Acnologia has suffered a fate worse than death…"

Mavis sighed. "It looks like Mermaid Heel's guild master has revealed herself."

Natsu looked at the First in shock. "MERMAID HEEL HAS A GUILD MASTER?"

Lucy facepalmed.

" _Every_ guild has a guild master. Technically, you were Tartaros' guild master even if you didn't know it at the time." stated Lucy.

"I was a guild master? Too bad it was over a dark guild. And they are disbanded so I can't even get them legalized…" sighed Natsu.

Zeref facepalmed.

"All that time and effort…" Zeref sighed. "Anyways, Mavis, who _is_ Mermaid Heel's guild master?"

"Your other ex-girlfriend," Mavis shrugged. "Anna Heartfilia."

"WHAT IS WITH DRAGNEEL MEN AND HEARTFILIAS?" Lucy shrieked in disdain.

"ANNA WAS DOING IT WITH ACNOLOGIA! THE RUMOR THAT I HELPED HER CONTINUE THE HEARTFILIA LINE IS JUST THAT – A RUMOR! I'M A VIRGIN!"

"Then what about August and Larcade?" Mavis questioned. "Apparently I gave birth to August and Larcade said that you were his father."

"AUGUST HAS DEMENTIA!" Zeref exclaimed. "LARCADE – I HAVE NO CLUE!"

Mavis sighed in relief. "Good."

"Now, wasn't that fun Acno?" Anna smiled.

"I wanna die…" Acnologia muttered.

"Well, I think she distracted him." Ichiya said. "Now, Wendy, use your Dragon Slayer magic and kill Acnologia!"

"Umm… okay?" Wendy said, looking at the now pitiful looking 'Chaos Dragon'.

"Just make it quick." Acnologia muttered.

"SKY DRAGON SECRET ART: SHATTERING SKY DRILL!" Wendy yelled, casting her most powerful spell.

Acnologia was dead on impact. He was smiling. Now he could be free from that EVIL HEARTFILIA WOMAN.

"GO WENDY!" Natsu cried later on. "YOU KILLED A DRAGON!"

"If the little kid could do, that means we have no reason for not being able to." Laxus said. Erik, Sting, Rogue, Gajeel, and Natsu all agreed.

"So… does anyone know where we can find six more dragons?"


	12. What Did You Just Call Me (HP Crossover)

**_Anyone who has read my stories religiously knows that a long time ago, I attempted to right a full-fledged story about Fairy Tail._**

 ** _Yeah… that failed and I had it adopted._**

 ** _Anyways, this chapter is cross posted with my story "What If?"._**

 ** _For my readers of What If: I apologize for not writing lately. You see, I had the Sherlock, Gender bending – all of it – written out and then something went wrong with my flash drive and it deleted them._**

 ** _So… I am SO sorry for the wait!_**

 ** _Who's excited for Dragon Cry? I saw the trailer and Lucy's Star Dresses are going to be animated!_**

What Did You Just Call Me?

Hogwarts, a school for Witches and Wizards, were no strangers to people from foreign countries. However, foreign countries in a different universe from theirs was _kind_ of new.

"I would like to welcome the new transfers. Some of them you will find, are much older than you. However, they will just be here for a few weeks in order to provide security." Albus Dumbledore, a man a _lot_ older than Makarov spoke. "I will allow them to introduce themselves and the type of magic they use."

"I'm Lucy Heartfilia, I use Celestial Spirit Magic, which means I can summon the spirits of the Celestial World with these keys." She explained.

At the Hufflepuff table, however, a fifth year asshole of a student who didn't deserve to be a Hufflepuff, named Zacharias Smith, laughed.

"Summon spirits? I hardly find that impressive!"

"She has about five-sixths of the golden Zodiac keys," said a light blue haired mage with a navy rose in her hair. "Lucy is more than just impressive. I think she could easily make S-Class!"

"Yukino…" Lucy whispered, placing her hand over her heart before turning back to her opponent. "What's your name, hot-shot?"

"Zacharias Smith, fifth year Prefect and a descendant of Helga Hufflepuff herself!"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "So? Your ancestors doesn't mean anything about who you are as a person. I'm the descendant of Anna Heartfilia, a powerful mage in her time but that doesn't mean I'm impressive because of my relation to her."

"It should," Zacharias replied hotly. "And so that means that if you aren't as impressive as her, then you are weak in comparison."

Lucy _hated_ being called weak.

"Oh yeah? Well, originally, I was going to beat your ass into the dirt and let everyone cry over your bloody and mangled almost-corpse by letting my spirits take all their anger out on you… but well, your comment has made me angry. So I'm the one that'll go the hard work." Lucy growled, taking out a key.

Well, in reality, she requipped it, but that's neither here nor there.

"Star Dress: Taurus Form!" She said, her eyes never leaving her target. Her clothes became those associated with Taurus – the half short, half pant black leather pants, the cow-print bikini top and arm warmers, the high white leather boots, the white back around her waist connecting the belt bearing Taurus' symbol and her hair curled into twin buns with two tresses running down to rest on her shoulders.

Needless to say, everyone who hadn't seen her Star Dress before were having a hard time keeping their jaws closed.

In her hand was a whip (with a heart-shaped cracker) that she cracked menacingly on the ground.

Zacharias didn't even have a chance to scream.

He went flying through the roof (literately). Dumbledore simply sighed.

He supposed that Fairy Tail lived up to their property destruction tendencies.

"My word," 'Professor' Dolores J. Umbridge said. "How dare you harm a student?"

You see, Umbridge liked Smith because he was an asshole like her. They were best buds.

"He deserved it," Lucy replied, changing out of her Taurus Star Dress.

"He obviously had a reason! You are far too destructive to be here at this school. Take your property damage somewhere else." She said, shooing her away.

Another thing Lucy hated. Being called 'destructive'. She was one of the least destructive people in Fairy Tail.

"Star Dress: Sagittarius Form!" Lucy yelled, "Star Shot!"

Changing into the green dress quickly, launching off rapid arrows at the witch, pinning her to the wall. Lucy then changed out of her Star Dress and summoned, "Gemini!"

The little blue twins appeared in an instant and immediately knew what to do. They changed into Lucy and clasped their hand into her's.

A few verses of chanting for Urano Metria later, Umbridge was screaming about "BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" (Tears)

Needless to say, Lucy was hailed as a Hogwarts hero. And she hadn't even been there for half an hour…


End file.
